4 Step Framework For Getting What You Want
One of the most important realizations we’ve gleaned from working with High Performance Leadership Coaching clients is this: Most people don’t know what they want!
As entrepreneurs, we’re bombarded with dozens of challenges each day, and with so many distractions, it can be difficult to distill your priorities. How do you tackle difficult decisions? How can you make decisions effectively that are in line with your goals? And most importantly, how can you start making changes today to ultimately get what you want?
Read below for a clear 4 step framework for thinking about and getting what you want from any decision or situation.
1. First, figure out what you want. Not knowing how to act when you are faced with a difficult decision can be paralyzing. There are three main reasons you may not be moving forward with a decision:
You don’t have all the information: When you’re missing information, it is easy to feel anxious because even if your mind is ready to move forward, your gut will feel uneasy. Next time, ask yourself if you have enough information, and if you don’t, do not react immediately. Take time to piece together missing information. Simultaneously, check in with your intuition and ask yourself if the decision feels right. Most times, your gut feeling will be the best indicator of what to do.
You fear change: For most people, the devil you know is more comfortable, then devil you don’t know. Realize that change is natural, and the sooner you embrace it, the lighter things will feel.
You don’t know what you want: 80% of what holds people back from making decision is that they simply don’t know what they want. How do you figure out what you want? Think about what really angers you, about what really fires you up. You’ll know doing something is right if it charges you.
2. Expect what you want to happen: Once you have figured out what you want, visualize it, write it down, hear yourself talking about it, and start actualizing ahead of time.
Often times, your expectations, influenced by preconceived notions and pressures, are killing what you want. Actually close your eyes and put yourself in the scene of where you want to go. If you feel nervous, ask yourself why am I feeling dread? Why am I feeling butterflies? If you can go into situations having imagined what could go wrong, you’ll be more prepared to stand your ground when the challenges actually come your way.
3. Protect what you want. Now that you know what you want, and you’ve started expecting it to happen, it is important to protect what you want.
Oftentimes, people say what they want in their minds, but the moment they reveal it someone else and are met with even the slightest comment,“Really?” “Are you kidding me?” “Do you really think you can do it?” their resolve, which was made up so firmly when they were alone, immediately weakens. Don’t let this happen to you:
Remove yourself from negative environments, people, and opportunities that will weaken your resolve. Protect your time each day. While small distractions may seem harmless, when accumulated, they serve to derail us from focusing on the bigger picture. Are there any appointments you can cancel on your calendar to make sure you have enough time? Here are some tools:
The Freedom app: Block yourself from certain websites, free yourself from frivolous distractions for a preset period of time.
Schedule travel buffers in your calendar — Plan ahead and know how much time it will take you to travel from A to B.
Schedule appointments with yourself: Free yourself from the black hole that is your inbox. Schedule time in your calendar to think, set goals, and focus on what you want rather than constantly reacting to pings.
Create strong personal boundaries: One of the biggest reasons people get derailed is they do not have strong enough personal boundaries. Figure out what actions are acceptable or unacceptable to you, and stop making exceptions for people or situations who violate those boundaries.
4. Finally, take action to actualize what you want. Having imagined what you want and how your life will be different, it’s time to take action. You can sit with your goals, dreams, and desires, but without action, the universe will not know what you want.
Take action and resist the urge to hesitate. If you have already done the preparation to visualize and expect, there is no reason to doubt that you will get what you want. Moreover, actively move forward with enthusiasm. Take action with joy, with excitement, because emotion is our gasoline. When you throw emotion behind your actions, you will inevitably get what you want sooner.